A Recent, Amazing Bigfoot Sighting
Apropos of absolutely nothing, I like to bring you, dear reader, the latest Bigfoot reports. Just four months ago, in November 2008, a couple of experienced hunters were in the woods near the town of Zephyrhills, Florida, when they saw something that shocked them:
“I went to a hunting spot to see what was happening, just around the time the sun was getting low. I arrived at a spot that I knew had a persimmon tree to see if i could see any deer in the area. About 15 minutes after arriving I noticed an animal standing up and getting persimmons and going back to the ground about 75 yards away. I thought this was a bear. I watched it for about 20 minutes and was getting ready to leave because it was starting to get dark. Just as I was getting ready to stand up and leave this animal did just that, stood up and left. I watched it get up on two legs and walk away.”
Investigators from the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization interviewed the witness and added this information: “They reported that the animal was 5 to 6 feet tall. On one prior occasion, during the previous turkey season (spring), this witness and another witness experienced what he described as a horrible guttural howl/growl that lasted around 5 seconds. He stated that this sound was so terrifying, that ‘it resulted in two grown men and experienced hunters clicking their safeties off on their shotguns and getting the hell out of there.’ The witness became completely perplexed by the fact that this couldn’t be a bear at all because bears don’t ‘walk’ upright, and this creature’s entire exit was made bipedally. The creature was described as being thick and stocky with more upper body than legs. He described its covering as being more fur than hair, and its fur appeared dark with a reddish tint or highlight. The creature was described as having stocky lower thigh-length arms that swung when it walked. He described its gait as long striding. Realizing this was not a bear but some unknown creature, the witness was NOT interested in investigating the area for tracks, but more in vacating the area. Finally, the witness spoke of conversations with a fellow hunter, ‘an old timey Florida Kracker’, who had told him of seeing four- or five-foot-tall ‘monkeys’ walking on two legs in the Green Swamp.”
February 20th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I want to believe in a North American Ape that has somehow survived but it is basically improbable…and especially so in the lower 48 States. Perhaps the the dense forests in the Northwest where the legend is particularily strong.
For one thing Bears can get up on their hind legs to look around..I’ll eat my hat if it wasn’t a Bear. Did anyone bother to ask how much alcohol the hunters had been drinking?
Until someone drags in a carcass most Scientists will continue to dismiss these sightings. People love mysteries and UFOs and Sasquatch are particularily entrancing.
Ask any seasoned cop or trial lawyer if you need to be reminded of how disastrously unreliable so-called eye witness accountings are. I’d love some hard evidence because it would be a great story and a new link for anthropologists to study. In the meantime I remain firmly skeptical.
February 20th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Hum?
February 20th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Ah, something remains consistent in this nation after all. Not sure what I’d do if a big foot sighting didn’t crop up now and then. You’ve renewed my faith in this country once again, Rhea. Thanks!
February 20th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I believe!
February 20th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
I would like to believe it’s possible but the thing is – where do these creatures live? Surely someone would find their den or some evidence of their existence other than these sightings. And why are any pictures people take always so blurry? It just seems unlikely to be true. But I totally believe in the Loch Ness Monster!
February 21st, 2009 at 10:32 am
I’m not an expert but have watched enough mysteries, NCIS and other forensic science programs to wonder why footprints, DNA, and other evidence wasn’t collected. Was it because nobody really believed the eyewitnesses enough to put these resources to work?
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:26 am
This sounds like what we in these here parts (insert southern twang here) call the Skunk Ape.
I don’t know if I truly believe, but I like donn, *want* to.