Why Does Being Online Mean You Can Be Rude and Mean?
When I peruse comments in the blogosphere I am put off by the volume of nasty, rude, mean, blockheaded comments out there. It’s never-ending. Do you think these people are as mean in real life, or the cloak of electronic anonymity brings it out in them? For myself, I do find that I am more bold in my electronic comments than I might be in real life. But when I read gossip and news sites, the hatred and meanness is over the top. What do you think?
July 9th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I’ve always assumed that it’s similar to the way people act on the road in their cars. They do and say (and gesture!) things they may not ordinarily do face to face, because their cars are their bubbles. It’s horrible, isn’t it? I’ve stopped reading some blogs because the comments are so negative. It can really bring you down to read some of that stuff.
July 9th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Absolutely, Chroma. It makes me depressed about the state of our society.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:43 am
I’m always stunned by the things people say, either in comments on blogs or comments to news articles. Of course, most of them are anonymous. I’ve had a couple of rude comments on my blog, but they’re mostly from my brother-in-law, so I can ignore them.
July 9th, 2009 at 11:47 am
I agree that for some reason people will go much farther to express their anger or hate when posting online. I occasionally visit the Oregonian’s blog site; depending upon the issue, the same four or five people will be going at one another and the insults are off the scale!
July 9th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I always read the comments. It gives you the real inside truth of what people are really thinking, how they feel and the true state of the economy. The comments that are left at the NY Times or the Huffington Post are downright vicious. People are ticked off lately and perhaps in some instances rightly so. As long as it’s only words that are being hurled, let the people speak. It’s if or when they upgrade to the next level that we should be concerned.
BTW-Rhea, I love and respect your blog. Read it each and every day. Thank you.
July 9th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Morrison, thanks so much for reading this blog. Your compliments mean a lot to me.
July 9th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
I think that people have found compatriots and they encourage each other to become more vocal. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like the main instigators aren’t all that stable, but exist egg on other willing people.
On occasion through work I’ve met some of the loudmouths that comment on articles on the sites of our local news media, and they’re a bit unhinged, a bit scary. Then again, I may have met some others and not known a thing.
July 9th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
While I usually speak my mind and I am happy to rant when a chord is struck either in person or virtually, I think the anonymity and lack of face time makes people less inhibited. The same way they don’t mind yelling insults out their car window as they speed away to where they can’t be called to task. If you are going to rant do it with good manners. Most people don’t have a chance to express their opinions, so given the opportunity with few consequences, they don’t know how to or don’t bother to do it like good citizens. A spew of venom doesn’t earn any respect and I don’t think it should be payed any mind no matter the venue. If you wouldn’t pay attention face-to-face and you would be embarassed for the person in real life, you should feel the same in the ‘comments” section.
July 9th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Welcome, whalehead!
July 10th, 2009 at 6:51 am
Yes, this is true. I think people use online forums to release frustrations and anger in a way we couldn’t do before. We used to go outside and scream the “primal scream”–remember that?! (I still do on occasion!) The problem now is that these are words, not screams, and people “hear” them. I ignore it, for the most part, although it is disturbing to think that these nuts can vote.
Let me echo what morrison said–I really like your blog. It’s the only one I read every day.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:40 am
I do remember primal screams. Or screaming into pillows. Not that I ever did that myself or anything. Thanks so much for reading this blog!
July 10th, 2009 at 8:41 am
Becky, ‘unhinged’ sounds like an apt description.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I’m spending a lot of time reading and commenting for my new website. It’s not my most pleasant task. While I’m meeting phenomenal people on the Internet (many originate from this blog), I”m so distressed by the anger and vile that permeates comments on articles. I agree with the comment about it being similar to driving. People feel permission to be vile beccause we don’t really each other in a real, intimate way.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Thanks for asking Rhea. I think the unhappiness is epidemic because most of us were not taught how to take charge of our own lives. We’ve given our power away one choice at a time, because we don’t want to take full responsibility for our decisions. We then become angry and frustrated because our lives aren’t what we want them to be. Big surprise!
Please see my recent post called: The Midlife Crisis Queen’s “Giving our power away one choice at a time” for a further description of how this works!
July 10th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I read early on in the days of the internet that we need to stop and remember that our written words are on a www bulletin board. Another helpful tip was that what we write may be misinterpreted by a reader’s moods. Usually, when I sense my thoughts fall into this category or if I am writing of a hot button issue, I begin by saying Kindly and respectfully for a tone set.
Should a post somewhere upset me or anger me, I do not respond at the time. Inflamatory blogs are not on my list to read.
Agree to disagree was a rule of thumb at one time – yet, these days, the divide doesn’t seem healed by this thought. Perhaps, the divide, instead of mutal respect for opinion has created the my way or no way school of thought.
Good manners, polite conversation and respect should be part of what we bring to a commentary as well as when writing of a difference of opinion, a way of trying to cross the bridge to a mutual point of, at the very least, a clear understanding of anothers viewpoint as well as our own.