American Place Names Desperately Need Updating
As this country was developed, very colorful place names were created for streets and towns, for instance, Oak Grove, Forest Hills, Chestnut Farms, Indian Creek, Springfield, Maple and Elm. Quaint, aren’t they? Well, I realized today on the Boston subway to work (which runs between Forest Hills and Oak Grove) that American place names are thoroughly outdated. Here’s why: the trees, forests and farms have given way to all sorts of suburbia, exurbia and generally awful changes in the landscape. Here are a few suggestions on how to update our place names:
Oak Grove = Incinerator Way
Forest Hills = Large Electric Pylon Avenue
Acorn Avenue = Putrid Smell Parkway
Sylvan Street = Canada Goose Relief Street
Red Creek = Gravelly, Nondescript Dead End
Springfield = Suburban Sprawl Terrace
Feel free to add your own place names in the comments.
August 24th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
You are so right! LOL We were in Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg last week. (I always think of you when I go to the Smokies now. :0) We were driving through the very rural area called Crafts and Arts Community. It is a several miles long area in the mountains where craftspeople and artists have studios and shops dotted along the way. Since last year, someone has built a HUGE ‘Little Log Wedding Chapel” and behind it is a monstrous condo complex. It used to be:
Rural Scenic Drive – (now) Armpit of Urbanity
August 24th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
And I think of YOU whenever YOU go to the Smokies! I love your Tennessee contribution.
August 24th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
I thought Pam might mention something about Las Vegas in connection to Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg now, but that describes it too well!
Good post – funny names but sad, right? It’s given me new things to think about names of places.
August 24th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Washington, DC = Our First President Would Probably Rather Have Killed Himself Than Be Identified With This Sprawling Bureaucratic Hellhole, DC
OK, I got all political. Sorry!
August 24th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Sul, we’ll overlook that.
August 24th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
This was too funny. While this is not a place, it reminds me of our penchant to find nice ways to talk about ugly things. I work in environmental engineering and there is one particular one that always made me laugh. Sludge (aka shit cakes in wastewater treatment plants…yuck) is also known as “Biosolids”…is that supposed to fool us into believing it isn’t shit?
August 29th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
I’ve been reading a great book, Land of Sunshine, State of Dreams (Gary R. Morimino) where he states that developers in Florida have a great penchant for naming places after things that the developers took away. So I guess we all need to have a good imagination to visulize how it all used to be. I still can’t figure out Christmas, FL. LOL
August 30th, 2009 at 4:19 am
We used to refer to a lake near the Bay in Emeryville, I think it was, as Lake Limburger, due to its unusual smell. I believe it has been cleaned up.
August 30th, 2009 at 4:19 am
That’s near San Francisco, I should have said.
August 30th, 2009 at 7:37 am
Good idea, Bea. I know developers in the old days used to name streets after their kids.
September 9th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.